


you won't always have nightmares

by short_kawanishi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Best Friends, Birthday Fluff, Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Short One Shot, Unresolved Romantic Tension, theyre just a little gay for each other, theyre so Soft, tired babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23659669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/short_kawanishi/pseuds/short_kawanishi
Summary: Kawanishi Taichi awoke from a nightmare three hours after his birthday began, and found himself unable to fall back to sleep. For too many things plagued him, as much as the late-night thoughts do to anyone else, and perhaps the only person who may be able to ease these woes was Shirabu Kenjirou. The guy who happened to share a dorm with him.And laying in the dark, right beside him, did the trick of removing such worries, but it aroused a secondary problem. The idea of more than just friendly feelings between him and his best friend.
Kudos: 21





	you won't always have nightmares

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tall_shirabu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tall_shirabu/gifts).



> literally kawashira is adorable it makes me so soft everytime !! this is short and a tad rushed but i hope you enjoy :D !!
> 
> happy birthday my precious baby boy kawanishi :,,< !!!!

The night leading up to Taichi’s birthday, he awoke from a nightmare. Nothing special, of course. A kind of dream that stirred the pool of dread in his stomach and set him off on the smallest of anxiety attacks. Instead of attempting inevitable poor sleep, he lay awake on the bed inside his dorm room, gaze fixated on the slats of wood supporting the bunk above him. Kenjirou slept there, and quite soundly, to boot.

If anything, Taichi was relieved. He knew his best friend and  _ perhaps  _ favorite person was sleeping at ease and completely alright. At the back of his mind, where the softest part of him lingered, he wondered if Kenjirou dreamt about him. 

And then he stopped.

He lifted up the rug and swept that single thought underneath it before it grew into something he  _ knew  _ he didn’t want. Of all the feelings he could develop for Shirabu Kenjirou, that must’ve been the worst. Above hating him, honestly. Because if things went oh-so-wrong and Taichi dared to spill his emotions, then perhaps Kenjirou would hate him anyways. And he couldn’t have that.

Throughout his life, he felt less and less content, whether it be with himself or the place he’d put himself in. A single hurdle had him stuck for months, the mere idea of  _ moving on  _ a weight to his everyday functions. Life became more of a hindrance than a journey, and no matter how many times he kicked aside his problems, they tied themselves to him and slowed him down the next time he came across a complication. They weakened him.

Like anyone else in the world, Taichi disliked admitting things. Anything at all, even. His emotions, his flaws, his strengths, his love, his life’s poor state before highschool. And the worst of it was that he didn’t know how to fix it. 

Rather, he didn’t know if he could fix it.

Kawanishi Taichi had plenty of problems, but he needed to mend a particular one right damn now. Which ended, of course, with him clambering up the latter of his shared bunk, shaking the frame in the process. Kenjirou didn’t seem like he would be a heavy sleeper, and really he wasn’t, but Taichi’s  _ graceful  _ movements hadn’t quite roused him yet. He still rested, curled up in a ball with three blankets stacked upon him and no means of stirring. His breath took a slow rhythm, the kind that endlessly calmed Taichi in the nights where he had trouble falling asleep. 

Their night went strange, anyhow. The previous one was spent studying, and with intent to stay up past midnight only a few hours earlier, they both passed out at ten-thirty. Well, Kenjirou did, then Taichi managed to set him back up onto his bunk and fell asleep no less than fifteen minutes later. 

Tonight, though, his mind decided to throw him for a loop, and he chose to deal with it by sliding himself in between Kenjirou and the outside edge of his bunk. It felt much safer there, and despite his exposure to the rest of the dim room, Kenjirou made it alright. 

Taichi didn't dare disturb him, in fear of waking up his ever-grouchy best friend. He’d rather not deal with an onslaught of swears at this hour, even if talking to Kenjirou would relieve his worries. Five minutes after settling down, unfortunately for Taichi’s wants, Kenjirou’s stray arm came across an entire log of a body that  _ surely  _ should not be on his bed. 

His eyes snapped open, only to spot the concerning figure mere inches away from his face. Kenjirou spoke the first thing he thought. “What the  _ hell _ ?” The  _ stupid,  _ huge, and (though he refused to admit he could make out any features in the dark) somewhat attractive Kawanishi Taichi that lay in front of him knew how thin the ice was when he interrupted Kenjirou’s slumber. “Why are you on my bed?”

Compared to his groggy companion, Taichi couldn’t have been more awake. He shifted, all the way up until his back pressed against the railing of the bed. “Had a nightmare.” 

Having adjusted to the lack of light, Taichi found himself able to make out Kenjirou’s scowl softening, easing all the way into a look of pity. Fond pity, the sort that comes from someone who doesn’t show empathy often. The sort that only Taichi received from Kenjirou, though he didn’t assume such a thing. Though their status as best friends proved itself more than enough, Taichi still held doubts on just how much Kenjirou liked him. 

“It’s past midnight, yeah?” Kenjirou avoided replying to Taichi’s words. It was a habit he developed, knowing that Taichi often changed the subject as soon as he was the topic. And even if it did annoy Kenjirou when he wanted to compliment his best friend, he understood. 

Taichi nodded. Really, he hadn’t expected anything from Kenjirou on his birthday, considering his usual behavior. He reconsidered this quickly, despite the internal toil, and realized that today was the very first birthday he shared with Kenjirou. Last year, when they had been friends for so little time, he refused to share his birthday. The feeling of getting so much attention over such a small thing like getting one year older seemed dumb to him. Later on, he confided in Kenjirou about it, which led to the ultimate reveal of his birth date. He had made his best friend promise not to do anything more than wish him well.

“Happy birthday, Taichi.” The softest of smiles graced his lips but faded as quickly as it had arrived. Such a thing was a marvel to behold; Kenjirou rarely made that face. He rarely let down his guard. He rarely gave anyone else that smile. 

Taichi feared losing it.

A twinge hit his heart much harder than he would have preferred, for sure. The short and small kind of melancholy was fine, once and again. This, though, this feeling of knowing Kenjirou wished him well despite all the threats to kick him in the knee and perhaps strangle him in his sleep-- Taichi seldom took such threats seriously, but with a reputation of having no best friend until he met Kenjirou. He couldn’t quite reach a level of comfort where he had a friend who knew him as Kenjirou did. 

The facts were laid out in front of him, at three-thirty in the morning, so clear and so  _ obvious  _ that he began to feel dumb for not realizing them sooner. How oblivious he was to not have realized that this boy in front of him acted so damn prickly, but couldn’t be more perfect. Perfect in the sense that he was flawed. A good person if you knew him well enough.

“Yeah…” He paused, reflecting the same soft smile Kenjirou offered him. “You know you’re my favorite person, right?” He asked as he allowed his eyes to fall shut, his hand grazing the sheets below them as he found Kenjirou’s hand. It wasn’t until they clasped sweaty palms that Kenjirou broke the brief silence.

In a soft voice, he said, “I didn’t, but it’s the same for me.”

Any opening for a joke was the one he should go for, in Taichi’s world. He chuckled. “You’re your own favorite person, Kenjirou?” In between this and Kenjirou’s inevitably salty reply, Taichi received a kick to the shin. 

“Don’t be an idiot. You know what I mean,” Kenjirou added a scoff, only for good measure, of course. Taichi acted like such an idiot, to the point where some part of Kenjirou genuinely thought it was  _ endearing _ . How gross of him to feel that way. 

Taichi’s lips pulled into a smirk. His laugh, soft as ever, graced Kenjirou’s ears in such a way that caused his cheeks to warm. He couldn’t place the emotion; all he knew was that he didn’t like it. “Do I?” 

“Shut up.” In light of his emotional contemplation, Kenjirou scowled and retorted to the best of his current abilities. Nothing else came to mind when Taichi teased him like this. 

Taichi, with mocking intentions, scoffed, but then adjusted his reaction to something that wouldn’t get him some salty (and unwanted) response. Instead, he squeezed Kenjirou’s hand. “Can’t you say it just  _ one _ time?”

“Ugh. Fine. You’re my favorite person too, Taichi,” he grumbled, moving his fingers to lace them between Taichi's. His hand was warm, just like the rest of him, but Kenjirou didn't dare to get any closer. Taichi took all the chances he received to  _ tease _ Kenjirou about anything in the entire world, and it flustered him to no end. "Okay?"

There had been plenty of silence this conversation, but Taichi hadn’t exactly expected Kenjirou to say it. He never acted lenient any other time of day, so why would now be different? “Do you actually mean it?” He decided on asking.

“Duh.” Kenjirou blandly replied. “I’m not a liar, Taichi.” As always, Kenjirou had such an eloquent way with words. If he ever needed to express himself, a  _ fine  _ taste in phrasing like his would turn out alright. Taichi said this to himself rather sarcastically.

He met Kenjirou’s tone with one of his favorites, “How  _ reassuring _ ." Then he clamped his mouth shut, deciding that this hour of the morning was  too late for banter. "Thank you."

“For what?” He dropped his attitude but shifted his hand in Taichi’s to pull it up and underneath his cheek. If Taichi decided to be a bit  _ softer  _ than usual, then perhaps Kenjirou could try it as well. They wouldn’t be able to recall this night after a while; both of them were practically dozing off again. 

“Staying with me.” Taichi allowed himself a small sigh. Not one of contempt. Rather, a fatigued sigh. He was tired. Very, very tired and not just from lack of sleep.

Too emotional. Too out in the open. Taichi would never speak of these things, Kenjirou mused. He would never put his heart on his sleeve unless he knew its truth like a gut instinct. Kenjirou couldn’t deny Taichi’s natural aptitude when it came to emotions; he was definitely an impulsive dumbass, but his empathy stretched much farther than Kenjirou assumed when they first met. Still, he needed to combat this gentleness by a little, at least. His heart couldn’t take his best friend acting in such a manner, nor did he want to find out why this was.

He murmured, “Why wouldn’t I, you dork?”

“Hell if  _ I  _ know. But I just--” Taichi stopped himself. The words had caught in his throat. These words, of all things, choked him up the most. They caused him to stumble, and rethink it all; he found the hurdle of getting them out much taller than anticipated and dear  _ god _ , he wanted to hide as soon as he blurted them out. “You’re the last person I’d want to lose.” With a spare hand, he covered one half of his face. 

Kenjirou tsked and took Taichi’s hand off his face before clasping it as well. Warm. His bed was much warmer now, after this heavy as all hell space heater draped himself across it. Kenjirou couldn’t complain much, at the end of all things. Taichi’s presence had an irksome effect on him when it came to things he would be uncomfortable with around anyone else. To admit this to himself seemed easy, but he didn’t want Taichi to let it get to his head. These feelings could be kept in a small box, somewhere close to Kenjirou’s heart where he hoped Taichi wouldn’t ever reach.

He bit his lip, “You shouldn’t joke like that.” Truth rang in his words. His heart believed two things but did not fight for it. It sat in peaceful disarray, waiting for Taichi to mend the divide he hadn’t meant to cause. 

Settling his head down against an arm, Taichi murmured, “I’m not joking around. Jus’ telling the truth.” He decided to rest his case, though he wasn’t sure if Kenjirou would have noticed if he did, anyway. He looked troubled, in the sense that his mind’s gears worked at a pace much faster than Taichi wanted to even consider at this hour. While his brain came to a short rest, he left Kenjirou up to his thoughts and closed his eyes. 

A pause split between them, as the words seeped into the depths of Kenjirou’s mind. He needed to think upon them, allow them to settle in somewhere, and then maybe he would believe Taichi. 

“I love you,” he mumbled, without thinking of the consequences. He surely didn’t mean it in a romantic way; Taichi was nothing more than a best friend. But his nerves could settle, for no response came to Kenjirou.

Silence. Pure silence. The suffocating, terrifying sort of silence Kenjirou rarely came across. He didn’t  _ blurt  _ things like that. He knew he could spill out insults for days, with the snarky comments and cynical demeanor, but he never, in a million years, thought he would say such sappy things to Taichi, the biggest ass of all time. The guy he knew cared for him. 

The guy who sat at the bottom of the list for the people Kenjirou hated.

“Taichi?”

Ah. He was asleep. Good, Kenjirou told himself, hand still tucked into Taichi’s as he shifted onto his back. He slid it out briefly, though, just to toss half of his blankets across Taichi’s lower half. Then, in the pitch-black room, where only his rustling could be heard, he pressed his back against his best friend’s warm chest. Tucking his hand back into place, he settled down to rest until morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading !!! <3


End file.
